I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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