Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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