I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize