The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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