I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
