He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
