can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
