u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
