Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
