I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
