Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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