Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
