we have officially lost it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
