i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
