K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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