And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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