I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
