Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
