Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
