Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The adults are the big ones right?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
