Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
