I could have mohawked her pubes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize