it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
