doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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