There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
