im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm at about main and main street
Found the puke drawer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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