So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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