Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
