The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
