I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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