he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize