you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
