well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
