I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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