found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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