maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
