she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
