dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
