my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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