Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize