Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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