You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
