Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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