booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Say something about gay babies.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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