The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
