i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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