Your face is a jimmy john
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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