me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
