Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
