hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
