How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
