Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
bring money and cleavage
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
