you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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