Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize