I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
