Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
