K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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