so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
