my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
