Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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