I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize