You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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