loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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