i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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