how do flat chested girls get laid?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
