I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
