i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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