I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
