you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize