I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This is my gift to your gina
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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