you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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