bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
