Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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