I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
