More tranny stories later!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize