I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
