Sry I called you an 8
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize