the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i think i just lost a toe
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
